"Praeterita": Close Your Eyes Part 3

Scarred are my heart and soul

I can't take it back

The graveyard at which I stood

Wanting to have it all back

Happiness

Joy

Peace

I shall never have them back

A 90s black television set, surrounded by a membrane of dust and spider web, rests on a wooden table. The screen eerily flickers black and white. Then, lines of blood drool down the radiant white wall behind the television.

Black. All you see now is black.

A hospital bed. Rays of saturated orange-yellow sunlight shining through the window on the left. Lying on the bed is a young Asian woman. Screaming in agony, grasping onto the hands of a Caucasian man standing next to her. He is saying something to her, but her voice is muffled. We cannot hear her. A nurse is bent down, hands in between the woman's legs. All the colours in the scene appear very concentrated, giving a very ethereal taste.

A high pitched shriek. The nurse stands up, with a baby cupped in her hands. The woman breathes heavily. The baby is wrapped in a white cloth as he is passed over to the woman. The woman receives with open arms. She embraces the little one, beaming with joy. The man looks down on the baby. They look at each other, all smiles.

A camera recording. The baby giggles as he runs in circles around a field.

A scene of pure happiness.

He trips, landing with a thud. A gasp behind the camera. Zooming into the screen is the woman. She picks the baby up, who's weeping profusely. She cradles the baby, hushing the baby, comforting the baby.

A birthday cake, sitting on a wooden table. Beautifully decorated with candles, splashed with a myriad of colours, a seemingly abstract and trippy look. Red, purple, green, yellow, orange. On the cake is one candle. Sitting in a small baby chair is him. Surrounding him, are a few people clapping with a constant rhythm.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you......."

He looks around, gleaming with innocent eyes as the candle flame flickers in the dark.

Mesmerising. Why did it I do it?

Clapping noises fill up the entire room. A gentle voice of a woman is heard behind the camera. "Come on, blow the candle!" The baby blankly stares at the flame for a moment. Poof! Now, nothing but blackness.

Another recording. It's the baby again, sitting on the floor. He is playing with some toy cars and blocks. Lying down next to him, are the man and the woman. A picture of peace.

Another recording. The camera shakes slightly. It swiftly pans to a young boy, carrying a small backpack. "Excited for your first day?" a tender male voice. A high pitched voice replies. "Yes!". The woman comes into frame and kneels down, grabbing his cheeks. "Have lots of fun today, sweetheart." A bus is heard off-camera. The woman looks in another direction. "Better get going. Don't want to keep the bus driver waiting. Come on." She grabs his hand as the recording flickers to

Another recording. A field. Laying amongst the grass is a picnic mattress. The man is chasing the boy as they go around in circles. Laughter fills the air. The wind calmly blows the tall grass as the sun saturates the sky with a beautiful orange-yellow. Suddenly, the boy trips, landing with a thud.

Father hurries to pick him up. The camera shakes as Mother rushes towards the child.

Another recording. A principals room. The camera points at the child, slightly downtrodden. The principal is speaking. "He has not been submitting his assignments, he's hasn't been keeping up with the rest of class.....". Typical at the time. The camera points to Mother, evidently agitated. She looks directly at the camera. "What are you....." She shoves the camera.

Another recording. The boy jumping up and down with joy. "What did you do, little one?" the woman's voice behind the camera. "I did it! I did it!". "What did you do?". He shoves a paper at the camera. An A grade. "I got an A." "Yay!". Father appears in frame. "Up top!" He high fives him as the camera flickers to

Black

Why?

Photo: https://news.cnrs.fr/articles/how-real-are-false-memories